"Mom, did you know...."
This was the beginning of a very, very long sentence in which Chef attempted to explain to me everything that happened in "The Rise and Fall of the British Empire" by Lawrence James. The next day, he started reading "Sarum" by Edward Rutherfurd. Chef's also been reading cookbooks and books about autism.
Chef is also making "pictures to sell" in hopes of starting his own business. He's generally spending a couple of minutes on each picture. In the past, Chef has done some very nice, simple watercolour pieces, and agrees that he wants to have a website to sell some, but when it comes down to doing the base-work for them (drawing the shapes before painting), it's back to mass-producing very basic pictures in very short order.
Chef is frequently talking about wanting to sell items at the local farmers' market. Last week, while at the market for our first time, he suddenly pulled out from his binder of papers a loose piece of canvas he'd painted months ago and announced to me that he was going to sell it. I reminded him that we weren't there as vendors (just playing music for now) and didn't have a sales table set up, and that he could gladly sell some items sometime when we've made plans together regarding what would be reasonable items to sell. Then he realized a lot of baked goods were being sold. This week, there have been many many lists of recipe names, with frequent verbal reminders of the additional need for cookbook names and page numbers. There's also been one long list of necessary ingredients proudly presented to me one day just as we were walking out the door to shop for groceries. Excellent planning! Unfortunately the list only contained the names of the items needed - no amounts, no reference back to the recipe, etc. Chef seemed very disappointed when he realized his ingredient-list was for naught and seemed deflated at the suggestion that he could still use the list and try to figure out the recipes that matched the ingredients, or try again with a new list and let me know when he was working on it so I could help him.
Everything new is step-by-step. It's nice to know there's a degree of motivation that's starting to surface. Hopefully that will stay long enough to smooth out the bits that Chef is finding to be challenging/disappointing.
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Work Experience and Building Community
July 15, 2011
The idea for this summer has been to set up Chef with various volunteer positions. This continues Chef's understanding of the importance of building community, allows more people in Chef's community to get to know him, and provides work experience for Chef.
Our local library, thrift shop, and arts center all have volunteer opportunities. Chef already has some volunteer experience in visiting with seniors, helping out at local community events for newcomers through the local Immigration Services program, and helping out with events for adults living with disabilities. So far, Chef has always had me alongside supporting him while volunteering. I am partially hopeful that perhaps we'll be able to find a volunteer opportunity where Chef can be on his own amongst other volunteers/staff, at least for part of a day.
This past week we've been volunteering at the local arts center. They run a day camp for young children. Chef attended the day camp when he was younger, but never actually made it through an entire week. This past week, he spent over 5 hours preparing crafts one day and helped with crafts, games, various arts activities, and supervision for 2 full days plus one afternoon. With me by his side, Chef was very helpful with cleaning up, took direction well from the day camp coordinator, and needed frequent reminders that he wasn't there as a camper to play. Without me there at his side, Chef very much seemed to view himself as a camper and even had a moment or two when he disrupted activities by engaging other kids in playing something other than what they needed to be doing at the time. By his last volunteer day there this week, Chef's leadership skills had shifted to pointing at a child followed by, "Hey! Hey hey hey! Nuh-uh! I said no!" Maybe time will bring a sense of balance.
Next week, we're planning to spend only one or two afternoons at the arts center - this past week took a bit more energy than I could afford, and left little for what was still required for evenings at home. Tomorrow we're planning to ask at the thrift shop about volunteer opportunities, and next week we'll look into what's available at the library.
Chef has also been working on figuring out what he can create to sell online, and has been spending time with a few books(autism and history) as well as one of the guitars. In fact, until we get the window issue dealt with, Chef has been singing and/or playing guitar in his room at bedtime until he is too tired to stay awake. (Now we just need to figure out the mornings.) This evening he made supper (ground chicken mini-burgers, mashed sweet potato, steamed asparagus), asked if he could please do chores tonight so he could spend time playing with one of his nieces this weekend, and asked if we could watch a movie together. Very cool.
**Umm - Chef just brought my laundry upstairs (on hangers even!) because he wants to get his clothes into the dryer and mine were done. Nothing like this has happened before. Ever. "Wow!" seems like a drastic understatement.
The idea for this summer has been to set up Chef with various volunteer positions. This continues Chef's understanding of the importance of building community, allows more people in Chef's community to get to know him, and provides work experience for Chef.
Our local library, thrift shop, and arts center all have volunteer opportunities. Chef already has some volunteer experience in visiting with seniors, helping out at local community events for newcomers through the local Immigration Services program, and helping out with events for adults living with disabilities. So far, Chef has always had me alongside supporting him while volunteering. I am partially hopeful that perhaps we'll be able to find a volunteer opportunity where Chef can be on his own amongst other volunteers/staff, at least for part of a day.
This past week we've been volunteering at the local arts center. They run a day camp for young children. Chef attended the day camp when he was younger, but never actually made it through an entire week. This past week, he spent over 5 hours preparing crafts one day and helped with crafts, games, various arts activities, and supervision for 2 full days plus one afternoon. With me by his side, Chef was very helpful with cleaning up, took direction well from the day camp coordinator, and needed frequent reminders that he wasn't there as a camper to play. Without me there at his side, Chef very much seemed to view himself as a camper and even had a moment or two when he disrupted activities by engaging other kids in playing something other than what they needed to be doing at the time. By his last volunteer day there this week, Chef's leadership skills had shifted to pointing at a child followed by, "Hey! Hey hey hey! Nuh-uh! I said no!" Maybe time will bring a sense of balance.
Next week, we're planning to spend only one or two afternoons at the arts center - this past week took a bit more energy than I could afford, and left little for what was still required for evenings at home. Tomorrow we're planning to ask at the thrift shop about volunteer opportunities, and next week we'll look into what's available at the library.
Chef has also been working on figuring out what he can create to sell online, and has been spending time with a few books(autism and history) as well as one of the guitars. In fact, until we get the window issue dealt with, Chef has been singing and/or playing guitar in his room at bedtime until he is too tired to stay awake. (Now we just need to figure out the mornings.) This evening he made supper (ground chicken mini-burgers, mashed sweet potato, steamed asparagus), asked if he could please do chores tonight so he could spend time playing with one of his nieces this weekend, and asked if we could watch a movie together. Very cool.
**Umm - Chef just brought my laundry upstairs (on hangers even!) because he wants to get his clothes into the dryer and mine were done. Nothing like this has happened before. Ever. "Wow!" seems like a drastic understatement.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Studios, Seashells, and Dignity
Thursday, June 16, 2011
This past weekend was wonderful.
I needed to rent a car for an appointment (and when you rent for a Friday or Monday, it costs less to rent for the entire weekend on the weekend special than to rent for just the one day), so took a friend up on an invitation for a day of touring artists' studios up along the lake on Saturday. It was an altogether wonderful day.
On Friday, I told Chef that we'd be renting a car and going places on the weekend but wasn't sure exactly where yet, aside from running errands on Friday evening. He also knew his oldest niece was spending Friday evening with us which always is always a positive note.
On Saturday, Chef read and slept in the car, occasionally glancing out the window and commenting on a place where he'd been. When we stopped to pick up water, I let him run into the store on his own because I could park the car where I could see him, and reminded him to bring the receipt. He was back in short order and very excitedly reported that there were fresh samosas in the store. I gave him enough for two and he came back with his little paper bag, eager to eat them right away. Chef wandered throughout the various studios with my friend and me through the day, commenting on what he liked, and easily went off to talk with folks if he asked me a question and was redirected to ask the artist. Occasionally he moved into what I know as the beginning of his "baby'ish mode" which usually only happens when he is either with someone brand new (doesn't always happen with new folks, but when it does happen it is often around new folks) or happens in combination with something he is wanting; ice-cream, for example! Chef also has no qualms about asking people for something he wants when it comes to things like ice-cream or other items in the "treat" category, so sometimes there's a combination of outright asking and baby'ish mode. All in all, he definitely seemed to enjoy his day. There were the studios with all their colours, textures, pictures, shapes, etc., a lovely dog to pet, instruments to see and Viking horns to blow, chilli fries, ice-cream, the beach, the other beach. Oh yes, the beach. Chef remembered being at a stretch of beach further down the highway than where we were on Saturday, and very much wanted to go there to collect shells, evidenced by the questions/comments about the other beach and the great amount of shells there compared to the beaches we visited. Once he settled into just enjoying where he was, however, it didn't take long before Chef rolled up his pant legs and waded in, collected clay and stones and - yes! An occasional shell!
On Sunday, Chef got up and...well, I don't remember who made brunch nor what we had. But after brunch, Chef did dishes and put in his laundry and put his younger niece into time out for not listening to him about leaving the bottles in the door of the fridge. My daughter and I were quite surprised by this turn of events and were not completely unamused as we quietly watched Chef perfectly replicate all the timeout steps he has seen his sister and me use with his niece. A bit later, I went upstairs and left Chef to himself for a few minutes while he finished up in the kitchen then went out on the deck to play with his niece til we left for my sisters' place. When I came back downstairs, I sadly discovered that my backpack had been looted. There it is. That ol' "he's been doing so well with not stealing" misdirected radar. Chef does well for awhile with not stealing when I'm with him then I'm lulled into a sense that I can let down support in that area once in awhile and BAM! Stealing. I went into the kitchen to see if I could find where the money had been stashed and chatted with my daughter about how it sure didn't work when I left my backpack downstairs with an unsupervised Chef - and there it was! A $20 bill sitting on top of the fridge, nudged near the back. That still left some smaller money unaccounted for, but at least the 20 was found. Chef seemed to have a great time at my sisters' place. He had two mounding plates of supper followed by dessert (and showed his "poor me" expression when reminded that was enough), and spent the bulk of the visit otherwise playing video games with my niece and using her scooter outside (very nice, especially considering it wasn't that long ago when Chef would stay in his room when folks came to visit, and would refuse to do anything to get ready to come along when we were going to someone else's place, even family). When we came home, I told Chef he still needed to deal with his stealing. He made his confused look/scoffing sound and started with, "I didn't.." but stopped when I shook my head. He then went into "poor me" mode. I reminded him that he could either deal with it now or we would be continuing this discussion first thing in the morning and that's no way to start a day. "I took the money." "The whole story." "I took money from your backpack. It's on the fridge." "The rest of the money?" "I only took what's on the fridge." Since Chef has not been doing his regular chores consistently, nevermind doing any extra chores to earn money, he will lose his free time as well as his opportunity to earn money this week in order to pay back for the act of stealing. Now, the tricky part here is that one of Chef's goals in life has often/usually been to just be by himself in his room and to get out of chores. What I've found, however, is that if this is used routinely enough and Chef loses times with his niece in the evening, etc., it does make some degree of difference to him. There have been times when Chef purposely does something in hopes of being sent to his room for at-home respite, but it has a bit of a different impact if it is implemented otherwise. It's my opinion that Chef is growing in this area. It's a very slow growth and there are times when "one step forward, two steps back" is all too true, but it's almost like a life-dance - trying different steps, moving back to his comfort zone, finding his comfort zone being used differently and having to rethink that, finding comfort in moments outside his comfort zone, and slowly realizing that it does actually feel good to grow and experience dignity.
This past weekend was wonderful.
I needed to rent a car for an appointment (and when you rent for a Friday or Monday, it costs less to rent for the entire weekend on the weekend special than to rent for just the one day), so took a friend up on an invitation for a day of touring artists' studios up along the lake on Saturday. It was an altogether wonderful day.
On Friday, I told Chef that we'd be renting a car and going places on the weekend but wasn't sure exactly where yet, aside from running errands on Friday evening. He also knew his oldest niece was spending Friday evening with us which always is always a positive note.
On Saturday, Chef read and slept in the car, occasionally glancing out the window and commenting on a place where he'd been. When we stopped to pick up water, I let him run into the store on his own because I could park the car where I could see him, and reminded him to bring the receipt. He was back in short order and very excitedly reported that there were fresh samosas in the store. I gave him enough for two and he came back with his little paper bag, eager to eat them right away. Chef wandered throughout the various studios with my friend and me through the day, commenting on what he liked, and easily went off to talk with folks if he asked me a question and was redirected to ask the artist. Occasionally he moved into what I know as the beginning of his "baby'ish mode" which usually only happens when he is either with someone brand new (doesn't always happen with new folks, but when it does happen it is often around new folks) or happens in combination with something he is wanting; ice-cream, for example! Chef also has no qualms about asking people for something he wants when it comes to things like ice-cream or other items in the "treat" category, so sometimes there's a combination of outright asking and baby'ish mode. All in all, he definitely seemed to enjoy his day. There were the studios with all their colours, textures, pictures, shapes, etc., a lovely dog to pet, instruments to see and Viking horns to blow, chilli fries, ice-cream, the beach, the other beach. Oh yes, the beach. Chef remembered being at a stretch of beach further down the highway than where we were on Saturday, and very much wanted to go there to collect shells, evidenced by the questions/comments about the other beach and the great amount of shells there compared to the beaches we visited. Once he settled into just enjoying where he was, however, it didn't take long before Chef rolled up his pant legs and waded in, collected clay and stones and - yes! An occasional shell!
On Sunday, Chef got up and...well, I don't remember who made brunch nor what we had. But after brunch, Chef did dishes and put in his laundry and put his younger niece into time out for not listening to him about leaving the bottles in the door of the fridge. My daughter and I were quite surprised by this turn of events and were not completely unamused as we quietly watched Chef perfectly replicate all the timeout steps he has seen his sister and me use with his niece. A bit later, I went upstairs and left Chef to himself for a few minutes while he finished up in the kitchen then went out on the deck to play with his niece til we left for my sisters' place. When I came back downstairs, I sadly discovered that my backpack had been looted. There it is. That ol' "he's been doing so well with not stealing" misdirected radar. Chef does well for awhile with not stealing when I'm with him then I'm lulled into a sense that I can let down support in that area once in awhile and BAM! Stealing. I went into the kitchen to see if I could find where the money had been stashed and chatted with my daughter about how it sure didn't work when I left my backpack downstairs with an unsupervised Chef - and there it was! A $20 bill sitting on top of the fridge, nudged near the back. That still left some smaller money unaccounted for, but at least the 20 was found. Chef seemed to have a great time at my sisters' place. He had two mounding plates of supper followed by dessert (and showed his "poor me" expression when reminded that was enough), and spent the bulk of the visit otherwise playing video games with my niece and using her scooter outside (very nice, especially considering it wasn't that long ago when Chef would stay in his room when folks came to visit, and would refuse to do anything to get ready to come along when we were going to someone else's place, even family). When we came home, I told Chef he still needed to deal with his stealing. He made his confused look/scoffing sound and started with, "I didn't.." but stopped when I shook my head. He then went into "poor me" mode. I reminded him that he could either deal with it now or we would be continuing this discussion first thing in the morning and that's no way to start a day. "I took the money." "The whole story." "I took money from your backpack. It's on the fridge." "The rest of the money?" "I only took what's on the fridge." Since Chef has not been doing his regular chores consistently, nevermind doing any extra chores to earn money, he will lose his free time as well as his opportunity to earn money this week in order to pay back for the act of stealing. Now, the tricky part here is that one of Chef's goals in life has often/usually been to just be by himself in his room and to get out of chores. What I've found, however, is that if this is used routinely enough and Chef loses times with his niece in the evening, etc., it does make some degree of difference to him. There have been times when Chef purposely does something in hopes of being sent to his room for at-home respite, but it has a bit of a different impact if it is implemented otherwise. It's my opinion that Chef is growing in this area. It's a very slow growth and there are times when "one step forward, two steps back" is all too true, but it's almost like a life-dance - trying different steps, moving back to his comfort zone, finding his comfort zone being used differently and having to rethink that, finding comfort in moments outside his comfort zone, and slowly realizing that it does actually feel good to grow and experience dignity.
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